it's been 2 months living in the temp apartment, getting a head-start with the spanish community here, and enjoying the much quieter environment off the island of montreal.
being in between is a vulnerable place. ironically the biggest obstacles i have been facing regarding this move to ecuador is not the nay-saying of others (barely heard a peep!), but rather my own fears, doubts, low energy levels, etc.
having the time and space to take care of myself and being forced to re-examine things on a deeper level has been the best gift. seriously. when these opportunities come up in life, don't run away, squeeze all the wisdom you can out of them!
used to being able to summon the willpower and energy to attack my favorite projects with gusto, i was somewhat startled when this time my body said 'no'. loud and clear. then the cowardly part of my brain jumped in and paraded out a long list of reasons why i should stop being a nomad, stop trying to learn all these new things, and just settle down already. thankfully with some coaxing i stopped listening.
and simply learned to pace myself.
it may be much slower than anticipated, but if the goal is worthy, and attainable with a few adjustments of expectation, why give up?
i've been learning again how to spoil myself a bit. spending hours in the sun like a cat, having delicious healthy food on hand at all times, reprioritizing goals with a spiritual perspective, taking long walks in the huge park behind my house, workout video's on youtube, doing my nails, learning a few new techniques on guitar, lots of reading....basically giving my body and mind the rest and positive energy it needs. so when the big move goes down... i won't be trying to crawl out of the planes's emergency exit. and will be starting a new life with some basics already in place.
for those of us who love to travel and experience new things, it is very theraputic in itself. but to be able to keep going for longer periods of time, and to have something left to offer, we need to continuously expand the repertoire of healthy ways of being. and stick to it. every day is it's own entity. forget the outcome, focus on the effort you can reasonably sustain. enjoy whatever progress you do make in projects, life.
i've been slowly learning to let go of unnecessary self-imposed or perceived pressures. just do what i can. and believe me, it's a much more satisfying place to be.
thinking about making a big move or travelling solo... all the fears that go along with it. a good part of addressing that fear is knowing that you already have the habit to take good care of yourself, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. you have more freedom to go out and enjoy life, and much more to offer to the people you inevitably meet on your journeys. it all filters down.
so, 2 months left. it's now becoming a real event. with a deadline.
and i can say absolutely honestly now, i can't wait to live it.